Since I told him I was on holiday, Stalker Gordon is now sending me daily eCards in Spanish.

I bet there is nobody else in the whole world who is lucky enough to be stalked by somebody so hysterically funny, clever, witty, warm, supportive and loyal. He regularly literally has me in tears of laughter.

He has moved on from signing cards addressed to ‘Lady Demelza’ from ‘Ross the Toss’; to ‘dama intoxicante’ from ‘Julio Iglesias’, and today it’s from ‘Julio Double-Glasias’. I’m still sniggering to myself.

I have never spoken to him, nor do I know what he looks like.¬† But the producers of Channel 4’s ‘Four In A Bed’ know him all too well!